I am standing on the Pier, looking at the ocean that is spread out in front of me. It is such a gorgeous picture, I am breathless. The skirt of my white dress billows in the wind, my hair is flying everywhere. I am so entranced by the ocean I do not hear him come up behind me. All of a sudden his big, strong arms incase me, making me feel so safe. He kisses the top of my head and says, " I love you so much. You know that, right?" I turn around and look at him. At his beautiful face. "Yes."
I wake up to a loud noise that is going on outside of my window. Damn. I hate this place.....is there construction going on somewhere?
I look out the window and see that the sleet is what is making so much noise.
I am surprised to see some crazy lady running down the street, chasing after something that must've gotten caught in the wind...
that's why you don't go outside when the weather is THIS bad....duh.
I finally ate something today....an apple. I must say, it wasn't as good as I thought that it would be. i had to drink a beer to get rid of its after taste. I guess that my body needs something, though. I have been feeling so weak, lately.
I hate this weather. It has been so miserable outside for the past couple of weeks. I peer out of my window again, this time seeing a black van making its way slowly up Baker Street. Hm.
I close the curtains.
I hate this weather.
I am cold......blankets?
Where are my blankets?
I find one underneath the bed and wrap it around me. I go and sit on my couch.....I find a cigarette squished between the cushions. My lighter is on the coffee table. God. I love smoke.
I look at my wrists. They are looking a little better today. After my cutting frenzy, they began to swell and turn purple. Thank God they look better. I hate doctors.
I finish my cigarette and smash the butt on my cushion...a bad habit.
I close my eyes, the rhythmic noise of the sleet is now putting me to sleep.
I look in the mirror. My hair is in its usual messy ponytail, my teeth are brushed, make-up is on. I have on my new sun dress that hugs my naturally thin body.
I smile.
Today is the day.
I leave my apartment at exactly 12:00 p.m. We are meeting at a little restaurant in Manhattan called Imagio's at 12:30. We all know that New York traffic is a mess.
My red pumps click as I skip down the stairs. I am so excited.
The weather outside is gorgeous: sunny, cloudless, in the high seventies. I love this weather.
I wave hello to Victor, the bellman. He blows me a kiss and calls me a taxi.
"Have a wonderful day, love," he smiles at me.
"Why thank you," I smile back.
He tells the taxi driver where I need to go as I look out the window onto the streets of New York city. In this beautiful weather, in this beautiful city, all I can think of is how today is the day.
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Naublus eventually tumbled into the train tracks, still rhythmically blurting out, "Wassup! Wassup! Wassup! Wassup!" His head jerked back and forth, and green, foamy pus started to ooze from his ears. He jangled uncontrollably on the tracks, like a Parkinson's-ridden hand, until his companion Snazy took charge of the situation.
"Alright, everyone, make a chain of four.
We're going to pull him out of that dungeon horror!"
A 40-something year-old man in a red bandana, a 19-year-old girl, and a seven-foot giant who seemed to span all ages, joined hands with Snazy. She dove into the tracks, still hanging on to the chain, and she jostled her way to Naublus' scarred arm. She grabbed hold, and up and out they went, back to safety. It was such a close call that Lady Liberty almost shit her pants. Which would've made the situation worse because she would not have been able to rescue Naublus.
But Snazy was there, and she was all Naublus ever needed.
She skipped away to find her love. She never came back.
Naublus forgot all about her, and he went back to his spinning -- his mental spinning, that is. Down he went, riding the grey, rusted-iron spiral that moved up and down, like a cow-milking machine. Oh Naublus, why again? Why this needless anguish that only shreds your heart? Naublus began to sob. He went on for the next three hours, until about 8:00 p.m., and his head literally shrunk a couple of inches because of the sadness draining out of him. Naublus had a smaller head, but he felt oh so much better.
Tap, tap, tip, tap, tap, tip, tip. His ears deceived him, Naublus thought. No, it was not rain. Diamonds. Diamonds! Naublus had not bathed in a diamond shower since he was a little girl in his homeland. He ran out, giddy and slobbering with excitement, into the United States of America. The diamonds tapped on his skin, stuck to it, didn't fall. On his shoulders, diamonds. On the tops of his feet, diamonds. On his tongue, diamonds. He needed more. He slid into a puddle, filling his whole being with the glimmering beauty. Oh, the satisfaction, the satiation, the fulfillment! The grey sun's light made the diamonds look like demon-fairies. They had come to rescue him from his depression. They lasted a lifetime.
Five minutes. One second. Three half-seconds. A century. The diamonds flattened out into cardboard circles. Covered in them was Naublus. Drowning in cardboard was Naublus. He thought about the murdered trees. Slashed trunks, branches made into dust. Sap spilling everywhere, baptizing the forest with the sins of industry. He flailed his arms outward, grunting a scream, ripping the cardboard off his body (it was everywhere).
"What the hell? You did not just bump into me! You did not--just bump--into me!" A woman with a sun dress and an expression to match it was clouded by Naublus, a cloudy man himself. It was time to rain on her little parade. With diamonds.
"Where the diamonds went?" Naublus asked her. He was a four-year-old.
cooking lessons.
Chloe pulled the stockings up over knees, gently tugging them from her calves. She pulled her dress down over them, smoothing out any wrinkles she may have acquired since she removed it from the ironing board. She went into the bathroom and slathered lotion on her face before delicately applying foundation and eye liner. It had been so long. She found some old perfume in the cabinet and put some behind her ears and on her wrists. It was cold outside. Almost ready. She thought.
She grabbed her coat out of the closet and walked out the door.
First she went into the diner to see if they were hiring. She quickly found out they were not.
Trying not to be too discouraged she walked on, visiting several more shops, only to find that none of them were hiring. It's fine, she thought, it's not like I need the money.
Chloe decided not to just go back to her apartment like she normally would, and instead crossed the street. While she was doing so, an ice cream truck came out of nowhere and almost hit her. She instinctively got out of the way, not bothered at all.
She walked the extra blocks to Manny's and got groceries. First she picked up some milk, then some cereal, some protein bars, pasta, broccoli, mangoes, garlic tomato sauce, salad dressing, pineapple, chips, and orange juice. She walked by the beer and wine section cautiously, consciously moving her feet toward the register without her usual purchase of Heineken 6 pack or types of wine she used to steal from her parents' wine cellar.
While she was waiting in line a woman she recognized from her apartment building was ahead of her. Chloe couldn't help but notice the beer in her hand as she bought cigarettes. Camel Lights no less. She felt a sharp pain of desire, but continued through the line without either item.
As she walked home she felt slightly creepy following the woman from her apartment building, and hoped that she either didn't notice or knew she lived there too. At the apartment the woman held the door for her.
"Thanks," Chloe said briskly. The woman nodded and opened her mailbox as Chloe began up the stairs and into her apartment. She began boiling water for the noodles and put the sauce on the stove to heat. It had been so long since she had cooked the smell filling her apartment was welcomed. Her stomach began to churn, making obnoxious noises. She got out one fork, one bowl, one cup, and one napkin. She sat on the over-sized couch and felt engulfed by its vastness. She set her bowl on the coffee table and stretched out her legs, pulled her stockings down. During her life many people would have done that for her, like her mother, her maid, her boyfriend--but now she had none of those. Perhaps on other days that might have made her feel independent and exhilarating, but today it just reiterated her loneliness and boredom.
Tomorrow. She thought, taking another bite of her delicious pasta.
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